By Virginia Auciello

I was having dinner with my niece and her husband last night when I asked the question, "How is your new project in New York going?" He has a fairly new job and has been recently asked to join his team in a multimedia firm to work with them on a project in New York. His reply was, "Oh, okay, I don't really know why I was asked to go, and I am not sure what I am there for, but I assume..."

How many times have we been in a similar situation at work? We are asked to participate and do not know why, or we leave a meeting with foggy expectations, or we are left guessing about what we are really supposed to do and we get by with assumptions?

Worse yet, when I suggested asking the boss for more clarity, it was apparent that suggestion was not a good one and that the approach would be to just try to figure out the point as time went by. All I could think of was, "how painful and what a waste of time and resources." I am sure that this organization is not alone paying the price of lost resources and foggy communication.

I just finished a course based on the work of Phil Harkins and his book Powerful Conversations. The above story would be called a transactional conversation. Most of our business communication is transactional. "Would you like to join us on this project in New York?" "Oh, that would be great." End of discussion. Phil talks about transformational conversations. A transformational conversation adds clarity, closure and trust to the exchange of information. No ambiguity here!

In other words, at the end of the conversation, I know I am going to New York, but I also understand why, what I will get out of it, why this opportunity was offered and the relationship between the two people having the conversation has fostered trust. Powerful conversations are honest and authentic. They often involve shared learning, the parties in the powerful conversation are further ahead then they were before they talked and their relationship has been strengthened. Do all work conversations need to be transformational, of course not. But some key questions might be helpful in assessing the quality of communication in your business. Try assessing the "hurt facto." How many of good people are you losing? Are you hearing conversations at your workplace that you could label as complaints, criticism, cynicism, or rationalization? Do individuals at your workplace ask good questions? Are there authentic and honest responses?

We can begin to see patterns that keep us from being or becoming the organizations that will remain successful in the future. When we think of what the last few years in the workplace have been, we all have some experience of down sizing, right sizing, demand increases in productivity, improved efficiency, quality and customer focus. Most of us are in "Lean and Mean" organizations.

Will we continue our success with only this focus? I don't think so. Looking only at improving process leaves out your people resources. What will cause us to be competitive in the future? Simple... our people resources. What will cause us to be successful in the future is innovation. Employees will succeed with creativity, new ideas, and change that are focused on beating the external competition. What kind of conversations supports this focus? We have to help people to become aware of how they communicate and more than that, how they can improve their communications to get results. Phil Harkins would suggest the need for transformational conversations. He describes these as interactions that result in personal or organizational learning and change, involve greater awareness and greater risk and require willingness on the part of participants to explore possibilities beyond simple transactions.

Powerful conversations are characterized by genuine and mutual candor, confidentiality, mutual agreement on the facts of a situation and what each participant wants and needs. Differences in opinion and perspective allow for creative tension that opens up new possibilities for the future. Authentic desire to understand and learn from others forges stronger relationships. And clear and agreed upon action steps lead to commitment to success. These themes of powerful conversations resonate with me and make common sense for organizations of the future.

Start to increase your awareness. What kinds of conversations make up your life? What habits have you developed that limit you to transactional conversations? What's possible? We do not know what is possible if we stick to what is safe and familiar. Venture out to the transformational conversation world and assess the possibilities.